why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
