Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
