the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
