Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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