I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
