if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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