Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
