What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
