it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
