Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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