dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
