I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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