Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
