You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
