What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
