guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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