I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
