Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
