I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
