"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
