And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
