I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
