My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
