Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
