The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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