there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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