so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
