I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
