Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
