i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
please come you make the beer taste better
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
