Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
