no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
