Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
