fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
