Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
