Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
