i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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