There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
