So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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