Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
