i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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