nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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