; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
smell my finger.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
