Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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