if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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