I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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