I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The power of my boobs compel you
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
