btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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