Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
