She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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