i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
