I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
They took my balls.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
